ANXIETY IS NOT “JUST IN YOUR HEAD”
When your body starts saying what your life has not yet been able to say
You sit down.
You don't know exactly why.
Maybe you just got home from work.
Maybe you're lying in bed.
Maybe you're looking at your phone, staring at a message you haven't answered.
And then it starts.
A little pressure.
Right there.
In your chest.
Or your throat.
Or your stomach.
You take a deep breath, but somehow it doesn't feel like enough.
You check your phone.
Nothing.
You check again.
Nothing.
And your mind begins:
What if something goes wrong?
What if I lose my job?
What if my relationship ends?
What if something happens to my child?
What if something is seriously wrong with me?
What if I can't handle this?
What if I never feel normal again?
Anxiety has a remarkable ability:
it can turn a “maybe” into a bodily emergency.
Your heart speeds up.
Your muscles tighten.
Your breathing changes.
Your stomach reacts.
Your mind starts searching for an explanation.
And the more you search, the more attention you pay to every sensation.
Then another thought appears:
“Something is wrong with me.”
And the loop begins.
The strange history of the word anxiety
The English word anxiety comes through French from Latin anxietas, related to anxius and the verb angere, associated with choking, tightening or constriction.
That does not mean that anxiety has one specific organ where it “lives.”
But the history of the word is fascinating because people have long described emotional distress through bodily language:
“My chest feels tight.”
“There is a knot in my throat.”
“My stomach is in knots.”
“I can't breathe.”
The body and emotional experience are deeply connected.
But connection is not the same as a simple one-to-one code.
What is your body doing?
Anxiety is a normal human response to perceived threat.
The problem is when anxiety becomes persistent, overwhelming, difficult to control, or begins interfering with daily life.
The APA describes anxiety as an emotional state involving apprehension and physical tension, including changes such as increased muscle tension, faster breathing and a faster heartbeat.
NIMH explains that anxiety can occur even when there is no immediate threat and that persistent anxiety that interferes with daily functioning may be part of an anxiety disorder.
So instead of asking only:
“What's wrong with me?”
we can ask:
“What is my system interpreting as threatening?”
And then:
“What can I do with that information?”
From psychology to philosophy
Kierkegaard wrote extensively about anxiety as an experience connected with possibility, freedom and choice.
This gives us another way of looking at anxiety.
Sometimes the problem isn't only:
“Something bad is happening.”
Sometimes it is:
“Something could happen.”
And the human mind can generate an almost infinite number of possible futures.
That ability helps us plan.
It can also keep us awake at 3 a.m.
Perhaps the deeper question isn't always:
“How do I make anxiety disappear?”
Sometimes it is:
“What decision in my life am I afraid to face?”
And then there is the family system
Bert Hellinger developed Family Constellation work during the second half of the twentieth century, and the approach subsequently evolved through different schools and practitioners.
Family Constellations explore personal questions through a systemic and experiential lens.
The underlying premise is simple:
we do not live in isolation.
We belong to families.
We inherit histories.
We develop roles.
We adapt.
We protect.
We repeat.
We sometimes carry responsibilities that began long before we were born.
A constellation may provide a visual and experiential way of exploring these relational patterns.
But scientific honesty matters.
A systematic review found promising results in some studies, while also concluding that the overall quantity and quality of evidence was low. Some studies also reported mild or moderate negative effects in a small proportion of participants.
So I do not present Family Constellations as a scientifically proven explanation for every symptom or problem.
I use systemic work as a way to explore relationships, patterns, meanings and questions.
Biological Decoding: meaning versus medical fact
Biological Decoding presents itself as an approach linking emotional conflict and biological processes and traces part of its development to Claude Sabbah and earlier ideas associated with Ryke Geerd Hamer.
This is an area where we must be especially careful.
Exploring the emotional meaning a person gives to an illness is not the same thing as proving that a particular emotional conflict caused that illness.
A symbolic interpretation should never replace medical evaluation.
Your body is not a simple dictionary.
A symptom does not automatically translate into one emotional meaning.
Psychomagic and symbolic work
Psychomagic, associated with Alejandro Jodorowsky, belongs to a different territory: symbolic and creative ritual.
A symbolic act may help someone express a decision, mark a transition or give form to something that previously felt impossible to articulate.
But symbolism should not be confused with medical treatment.
We can work with imagination without pretending it is laboratory evidence.
We can explore meaning without inventing causality.
Three exercises for anxiety
1. Give your anxiety coordinates
When anxiety appears, pause.
Ask:
Where do I feel it?
Chest?
Throat?
Stomach?
Head?
Jaw?
Then:
What exactly am I feeling?
Pressure?
Heat?
Tightness?
Emptiness?
Trembling?
And:
What thought appeared immediately before it?
Write the exact sentence.
Then ask:
What am I trying to avoid?
Finally:
What do I need right now?
Information?
Rest?
Support?
A boundary?
A conversation?
Professional help?
Medical attention?
2. Let anxiety speak
Complete this sentence:
“If my anxiety could speak, it would tell me…”
Write for five minutes.
Then write:
“What I actually know right now is…”
And:
“What I don't know yet is…”
That distinction matters.
Anxiety often turns uncertainty into certainty.
“I don't know if this will happen”
becomes:
“This will happen.”
“I don't know if I can handle it”
becomes:
“I can't handle it.”
Learning to separate facts from predictions is a powerful beginning.
3. Come back to the present
Place both feet on the floor.
Look at five objects.
Notice three sounds.
Feel your body against the chair.
Relax your jaw.
Let your shoulders drop slightly.
Take a comfortable, unforced breath.
Then say:
“Right now, I am here.”
Not:
“Everything is perfect.”
You don't know that.
Just:
“Right now, I am here.”
A case scene
The following is a composite educational scenario, not an identifiable client.
A woman arrives saying:
“I don't understand what's wrong with me. My life is good. I shouldn't feel this way.”
She has work.
Family.
People who love her.
Yet she constantly anticipates disaster.
If her child is ten minutes late, she imagines an accident.
If her boss says, “Can we talk?”, she assumes she will lose her job.
If her partner becomes quiet, she assumes something is wrong.
Her body lives as if it is waiting for a phone call that never comes.
Instead of simply telling her:
“Stop thinking like that.”
we might ask:
“When did you learn that being calm was dangerous?”
That is not a diagnosis.
It is an invitation to investigate.
Maybe anxiety is a signal — but it is not an oracle
This distinction matters.
Feeling:
“I can't do this”
doesn't prove that you can't.
Feeling:
“Something terrible will happen”
doesn't prove that something terrible will happen.
Feeling a physical symptom doesn't automatically reveal its psychological cause.
And discovering a family pattern doesn't necessarily mean you have found the single cause of your suffering.
Anxiety can be information.
But information is not the same as absolute truth.
When should you seek professional help?
If anxiety is persistent, intense, difficult to control or interfering with your sleep, work, relationships or daily life, it deserves professional attention.
Evidence-based psychological and medical care can help people manage anxiety and improve quality of life.
And if you experience new, severe or concerning physical symptoms, seek appropriate medical evaluation.
Psychological exploration should complement—not replace—appropriate medical care.
My approach
I am interested in the whole person.
Psychology.
History.
Relationships.
Body.
Patterns.
Family.
Context.
Choices.
Meaning.
And the things you may not yet know how to name.
I don't need to tell you:
“I already know exactly why this is happening.”
I would rather investigate with you:
What is actually happening?
What keeps the pattern going?
What needs to be understood?
What needs to change?
And most importantly:
What can you do differently from here?
IF YOU ARE READY TO LOOK DEEPER
If you are experiencing persistent anxiety, repeating relational patterns, going through a life transition or wanting to explore family dynamics, you can contact me for a consultation.
Yubia Valette
Psychology • Systemic Work • Human Development • Método GIROS®
WhatsApp: 829-344-1166
Send me the word:
ANXIETY
and briefly tell me what you are experiencing.
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